I write fiction firmly footed in reality with a dash of postmodernism; I like to hide puzzles under my carpets, and I've been getting really good at making it so you don't stumble much if you don't care to look for puzzles. There!

I try not to confine myself to genres. When I started this odd journey, I wanted to be a horror writer, but it seems I'm bound to become anything but. I like to dabble. Crime fiction, horror, fantasy, experimental--I don't believe in being dictated by genres, but rather by the story. If it's prominent in my mind, I'll write it. Simple as that. Sometimes it's short; other times lengthy. Things will be as long (or short) as they have to, so long as it's good for the story.

That's priority number one.

I write mostly short pieces, written spontaneously and inspired by random tidbits. I'm big into description and metaphor and language; I have an obsession with vocabulary and I'm not afraid to use it. (I use the word chemiluminescent whenever possible.) My writing is rooted in realism and modern themes, but ranges from sci-fi to fantasy to dystopian romance. I'm working on maintaining quality prose for longer stretches; * Bringa is helping me.

I've always wanted to be the sort of writer who spans genre. I am interested in pieces that explore atmosphere and detail, while emphasizing characterization and certain conceptual obsessions.

My writing comes in two flavours: Mocha-Iced Journals and Cherry-Vanilla Prose

I document the inconsequential events occurring within my odd little slice of suburbia and package them with a lot of dramatic ellipses and italicized words. Most of the people I write about would string me up a flagpole and leave me hanging by a fuchsia pink thong if they knew half of the stuff I retold.

My prose pieces are like my journals but less coherent. I make a lot of things vague on purpose because I'm usually sick of storytelling when I decide to cook me up some deep-fried prose. There are a lot of hidden jokes and messages scattered amongst my prose that only people who actually know me offline would understand. I should stop doing that, yeah. I don't know what else to say except that my punctuation tends to suck and I'm usually inspired by grocery stores, cocaine, hangovers, and lemonade.

Fish.

The majority of my work is humorous essay; little things that pop up in life that are ripe for some harmless undermining and shall never gain me any respect in serious literary circles. I also write some fiction. The stuff that tries to be light and funny again shall never get me any respect, but there are a few with the message that life sucks or that someone dies in that might just have a chance.

I write primarily first person, but occasionally third person pieces, fiction. I try to be surrealist but fail miserably, and end up coyly contemporary. This post-it note writing works sometimes, when my horrendous grammar doesn't absolutely inundate the reader with the critical desire to cease, desist, and run screaming in the opposite direction.

Their teetering bums are tre cute though, I must admit.

Writing is a toy to me, one that I've had since a little child. I've chewed on it while teething, thrown it around while growing up, and even crapped on it during my angst-ridden teenage years.

Recently, however, I decided to take it apart to see how it works and, like a typical guy, broke it in the process. Now I'm trying figure out how each piece fits together; finding out what works and what doesn't.

I write things that make me laugh. Sometimes other people laugh too. Dramatic writing is my forte, though it took me a while to figure this out. Rated PG-13 for language and mild nudity.

scattered. right now interested in dialogue-intense pulp-style writing.

Edits (most recent top):

Completely restructured list, removed tons of people: now there are active prose writers (people who are currently producing good prose) and inactive prose writers (people who have some TRULY outstanding (my opinion) pieces in their gallery even though they've been silent recently). I generally applied more filtering because I felt my old inclusive policy made this list pointless. If someone's on this list now it means that I distinctly remember reading and liking something they've written. Where I didn't remember that, they were removed. Of COURSE this list is subjective--it needs to be, because that is the only kind of meaningful filtering I can apply. Always open for discussion.

Added gunshymartyr's blurb.

Added diamondie's blurb.

Added ... myself!

Added ~orion-mk3 to active prose writers. Give him a warm welcome!

Fixed spacing between entries.

Added `fleet21's blurp. Thanks Sean! (you're still in inactive tho )

Added *hesir with blurp; that's how you do it, kids: you note me and you add your own blurp. This makes Daniel happy. (Thanks hesir! I'm sorry I didn't add you before, but in my mind you had like one or two prose pieces sitting around in your gallery from way back then and the rest was drawing--turns out not quite so)

Moved ~magicalgirl to inactive prose writers while she's on her silly yellow alien crusade. Geez, some people and their e-drama

Added `diamondie to inactive prose writers. Blurb pending (on her and a dozen other people)

Decided to keep *xonlyindreamsx in the active writers list even though she hasn't submitted prose since Feb; really, if you're not reading her journals, you're missing out.

Added ~tommymalkavian's blurb.

Added ~magicalgirl; blurb pending.

Added `Astrophel's blurb

Moved ~ShaperOfForms to inactive (due to my own inability to catch up on editing and uploading his stuff; I'm horrible)

Moved ~xabie to inactive (I've decided to fire off quick notes to people when I move them to inactive to poke them back into action)

Added ~futilitarian's blurb.

Added =TMcAnally to the active writers list. The kid's got some learning to do still, but he shows honest desire to write well, and some of his stuff is already quite enjoyable now. Go ahead and have a look.

Added ^MinorKey's blurb; he's still in the inactive list until he gets off his butt.